I have had many things I intended to get done by now. I look back on my life and see a lot of wasted opportunity. I am lazy. I take the easy way out. I have big words and I know how to use them to best suit me. I really need to change my life, but I've said that before. I need to motivate myself.
I am sick of my job. I need something more for me. I need something I love. I don't know what I love. I think I do. But I'm not sure. I've been "looking" for a new job for a whole year and a half now. I havn't really done anything. I have looked at openings, and looked at layouts for resume's, but I havn't actually applied or filled out my resume. I live my life in a series of good intentions. I say I want to do something and I mean it. I plan on doing it. But I get lazy and stop trying. I tell everyone else around me I'm still trying, but (insert excuse here) gets in the way.
I have things to be happy about. I love my girlfriend, and she loves me. She is amazing and my most important thing. I am not in debt at all. I am frugal enough to save some money and even have a retirement plan. I am in pretty good health, even if I am overweight. I have so many things to keep me occupied. I own a lot of stuff. I'm far from unhappy. I just know I'm stuck. I feel like I'm running to stay in place.
Maybe simple is better. Maybe we have put so much crap into our lives that we get bogged down and we can't find our way out. I know I yearn for simple. I want to enjoy the days I am given and enjoy the people around me. But that's not so easy either. I'm bound to society and the ways of society. I am chained by mediocrity and self doubt. Who am I if I'm not what everyone expects me to be? Can I break these chains?
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